Confidence is not to be camouflaged but celebrated

Not to say that I am the shyest of them all, or that I even grew up being the shyest kid on the block; but I can vouch that of late, I have not been my most confident.

When I was younger I was a lot more confident in my abilities, my visions and my decisions. But the older I get the more reserved I become. The more I question my gut response. The more conscious I am of people’s opinions.

Of course, as humans, our decision making process does account for possible external judgments on our actions; whether that be determinative or only to a degree, it is still there.

People who portray themselves to be carefree are sometimes praised, but also sometimes ridiculed for their “cockiness”. This isn’t always the people who are the loudest, the prettiest or the funniest; but sometimes those who are simply confident in their own skin.

Definition of camouflage: to conceal the existence of (something undesirable). 

No one should feel as though they need to conceal what makes them who they are or  what makes them happy, in the fear of being misjudged.

Confidence (to be distinct from cockiness) displays traits of self-love, self-belief and strength. We seek confidence in our parents, in our government (although they are on thin ice at the moment) and our partners. Such a desirable and beautiful characteristic should not be concealed.

The less concerned I have been about external opinions, the more confident I have become. Easier said than done. Trust me, I know. It is a journey, And on a level of ‘zero – Rih Rih’ in confidence, I am not even sure I am half way there yet.

Confidence needs to be skin deep to radiate through.

Confidence is easier said than found,

but it is never lost forever.

It simply takes time.

In all honesty, the re-build of my confidence began at God-fidence. Yes, God-fidence. (It’s not a typo). If God is confident in my ability to fulfil my purpose, then why am I even raising the question?

Philippians 4:13: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (NIV)

This summer I am taking of vow of self-confidence. Take it with me.

This could be taking on a new project, travelling, combatting a fear or just trying a new hair style.

It starts from this vow here. Speak it into existence. Then simply, fake it till we make it.

Ta Ta x

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Monochrome babe

Oi Oi,

Yaaaaasss it is finally British Summer Time people. Hope you actually remembered to move your clocks forward.

I know this sunshine, means exams (which breaks my heart) but it also means that as much as I love my coats, we can work with lighter ones.

I’m not quite going to pack the coats and jackets away yet, but I am trying to embrace the sunshine while it lasts.

Layering is a girls best friend

so this long, exaggerated sleeve shirt with this simple black cami (maxi?) dress was the way to go here.

Bring on that good spring weather! (because we know we’re not seeing summer until August…)

Cudos x

Choker – Primark – £3 – bargain!

Shirt dress – Missguided – £25 –  sooooo soft!

Cami Dress – H&M (midi alternative –  ASOS – £22) – although if you are in store have a hunt for it, it is great for girls with curves because it actually fits, its got some stretch to it, but it’s not jersey. Like a light scuba material I think…

Bag – Zara -(alternative for the purpose of colour – Zara – £29.99) – You can totally get away with any bright bag; but there is definitely something about yellow this season 😉

Socks – Missguided – £3 

Trainers – Asos – £20 (quite a few alternatives so just search for white trainers on the website)

PS: don’t forget to check all my other posts too 😉

Forgiveness for Happiness

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Hey people,

What’s poppin’? Hope you’re having a nice weekend; maybe extended Valentine’s weekend? Maybe a pamper weekend for yourself?

Is it just me who feels like people are constantly trying me? I am trying my best to be a child of God, to be a good person, but people do not want it. Why?

Today I am encouraging you to forgive; not for the person you are forgiving, but for yourself. When you’re upset, angry or annoyed, you’re unable to do your work effectively, everything annoys you, all of a sudden you cannot see the positives, all you see is red. Why?

Because holding a grudge takes work. Being angry takes energy. Being annoyed and upset takes away from your happiness.

By deciding to forgive someone who has acted wrongly against you, you are not only taking the emotions of the situation into your control – by ‘being the bigger person’ – but you are acting out of self-love, to maintain your happiness (Did you read my self-love post? Get it? If not, check it out).

Of course, it would be nice if the wrongdoer apologised; but you cannot always wait for an apology. It may take someone weeks, months or years to apologise, and during that time they’re a draining your energy, draining your positivity – we quite simply don’t have time for that. This means that sometimes, you have forgive, before you receive your apology, even if you know you may never receive it.

True forgiveness does not make you weak-willed. Nor does it mean that if it is a friend you’re forgiving, you go back to being best friends; or if it is a partner, you go back to having a dreamy, rosy relationship. I do not know who came up with “forgive and forget”, I understand the concept, but I disagree. For one’s own emotional protection, it would be foolish for you to forget; but true forgiveness allows you to move forward from the negative emotion, so much so that you are still aware and proceed with caution if you do, but you do not use it as ammunition for ‘pay-back’ or vengeance.

It is also worth remembering that none of us are free from wrongdoing. We have done wrong to others before; it would be nice to be forgiven too, wouldn’t it?

Forgive wrongdoers, control & maintain your happiness.

For my believers: Christ calls on you, to move past an “eye for an eye” (Matthew 5:38) and “love your enemies”(Matthew 5:44). Why? Embodying a Christian identity requires us to go the extra mile. It is easy for us to love those who care for and love us; but it takes more for an individual to forgive those who do wrong towards us; especially those who do not recognise their wrongdoing. Anyone can love someone who shows love for them, it takes a special individual, a child of God, someone with a certain spiritual strength, to truly forgive and love those who do wrong to them.

Similarly, remember that we are not free from sin. It would be rather bold of us to ask God for forgiveness for the number of sins we commit daily, the grave sins we commit regularly, time and time again; but yet refuse to forgive someone who does wrong to us. Some food for thought.

There it is folks, forgive and stay happy 🙂

Remember…you are destined for greatness.

PS: If you haven’t, check out my last post on self-love & my fashion posts too if you want x

The Struggle is ONLY Temporary

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I’m back and I’m better!

Am I still allowed to say that? Or is Bryson too 2016?

Anywhoms, I’m back after a very testing period of this university lifestyle. And following my ‘stress is not my portion‘ post I thought, it was only fair to share my stressful moment too; because I’m not out here picking daises and chilling, life is trying it with me too!

Approximately a week ago, dooms-day arrived i.e. Dissertation deadline day. For the last 5 days before my deadline, I was looking like Krusty the clown featuring Nanny McPhee. In the library all hours. Shifts ending while the birds were chirping. No word of a lie, I didn’t necessarily know what day of the week it was, I just knew that my deadline was Xdays and Xhours away. The only thing that was keeping me going was the fact that, I knew in Xdays and Xhours it was going to be over.

During times of struggle, whether that may be financially, emotionally or physically, a reminder that your struggle is only temporary is the most important reminder of them all! For example, we all know about the struggle before the ‘student loan drop’, we know the struggle is only temporary because our bank accounts will be well-endowed soon.

In some areas of life, this is not as easy a concept to master by simply speaking the positivity into existence. Deeper struggles like debt, a broken relationship or loss of a loved one don’t feel like temporary struggles. As long as you are on earth the struggle may remain, and may only get easier, but it is about finding peace in knowing that it does get better.

How do you find peace? You can find peace in prayer or reflection. Focusing on the trials and tribulations you’ve overcome, the good things you enjoy and the great things that are to come.

So, to round it off, whatever your struggle may be, remember that it is only temporary, it will get better (as long as you work on it, because there are not any fairy godmothers granting you wishes out here) and find peace to keep striving through your struggle.

2 Corinthians 4:17 (ESV)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison

2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLT)

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

Remember…you are destined for greatness.