Confidence is not to be camouflaged but celebrated

Not to say that I am the shyest of them all, or that I even grew up being the shyest kid on the block; but I can vouch that of late, I have not been my most confident.

When I was younger I was a lot more confident in my abilities, my visions and my decisions. But the older I get the more reserved I become. The more I question my gut response. The more conscious I am of people’s opinions.

Of course, as humans, our decision making process does account for possible external judgments on our actions; whether that be determinative or only to a degree, it is still there.

People who portray themselves to be carefree are sometimes praised, but also sometimes ridiculed for their “cockiness”. This isn’t always the people who are the loudest, the prettiest or the funniest; but sometimes those who are simply confident in their own skin.

Definition of camouflage: to conceal the existence of (something undesirable). 

No one should feel as though they need to conceal what makes them who they are or  what makes them happy, in the fear of being misjudged.

Confidence (to be distinct from cockiness) displays traits of self-love, self-belief and strength. We seek confidence in our parents, in our government (although they are on thin ice at the moment) and our partners. Such a desirable and beautiful characteristic should not be concealed.

The less concerned I have been about external opinions, the more confident I have become. Easier said than done. Trust me, I know. It is a journey, And on a level of ‘zero – Rih Rih’ in confidence, I am not even sure I am half way there yet.

Confidence needs to be skin deep to radiate through.

Confidence is easier said than found,

but it is never lost forever.

It simply takes time.

In all honesty, the re-build of my confidence began at God-fidence. Yes, God-fidence. (It’s not a typo). If God is confident in my ability to fulfil my purpose, then why am I even raising the question?

Philippians 4:13: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (NIV)

This summer I am taking of vow of self-confidence. Take it with me.

This could be taking on a new project, travelling, combatting a fear or just trying a new hair style.

It starts from this vow here. Speak it into existence. Then simply, fake it till we make it.

Ta Ta x

I nearly sold my soul to my degree

Guess who’s back 😉

It’s been a while…maybe a bit more of a while; but exams hit me like a bulldozer through a brick wall.

Final year has hit me pretty hard. As it does to many.

As my life hangs in the balance of the grades to be announced, for the first time in a long time, I have time to kick back and relax. (Well as much as anyone who is unreasonably expected to have their life sorted pending their graduation date would).

Trying to work out where my mojo vanished to has been baffling me for weeks. It may sound cliche, but I have recently been experiencing a sense of unease and lack of inspiration. Going back and forth between university and home hardly serves as the most exhilarating journey of all time.

It is not until this light bulb moment right here that it has dawned on me, that being so entirely engrossed in academic reading and writing has hindered my opportunity to enjoy anything else. I had nearly lost myself in required reading and past paper questions. That is not to say that academic reading is boring. Parts of it is interesting. But, heavily  reading academia for academic purposes does not do much for the creative flow.

To redeem by mojo back I went out for some drinks, have been divulging myself in my pile of unread magazines and plan to start reading again; open up my imaginative mind. Alongside my creativity, my faith took a bit of slippery-slope-slip as well. Not to say I had lost it, I still prayed, went to church, and continued to believe that God would guide me through this treacherous journey they call a law degree. But what I had lost was my desire to seek God, my desire to continuing building our relationship, my desire to get closer. Our conversation often didn’t get much richer than thank you, tomorrow is a new day, help me to work harder, do well.

Some people can bounce straight back up and into their mojo again, but if you’re struggling, consider revisiting a favourite spot, an old hobby or trying something new. Anything to get your spirit back into top gear. Getting my religious spirit back into gear might take some time. To be honest, I believe you always have to be working on it, to remain in high spirits. However, I do believe that a slip in inspiration requires some intervention. Therefore, I’ve been looking for sermons that speak to me directly; so I can literally feel God’s presence.

If you are time management king or queen, do not lost that skill. However, most of us are still learning.  Just make sure you do not lose yourself, lose your soul, in the aspiration of achieving one goal.

Matthew 16:26: “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul. Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”

We have thousands of goals but only one soul to protect, one soul to help us, one soul to save us.

Hopefully our efforts will be fruitful and we can get back to our vivacious selves. Being inspired to inspire.

Ta ta for now x

 

Be your first Valentine

img_1754

Hey guys,

Happy Valentines Day, weekend, week, month…whatever for whenever you’re reading this lol.

St. Valentine’s day is recognised as a day of love, devotion and romance. Since the mid 18th century the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day has grown; with it being the second largest seasonal card sending time of the year. Aside from the card writing, gift giving and love making, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show yourself some love.

First and foremost, if you don’t love yourself, you cannot love somebody else. Why, because you cannot give someone else something that you don’t have.

Secondly, loving yourself is your power.

To truly love yourself allows for true happiness. Internal happiness comes from loving yourself for who you are, the perks, and the not so pretty. When you love yourself, there is no one that can take that away from you. If you are internally happy, although external factors may attempt to diminish this happiness, no one can take away happiness that comes from within you, apart from you – this is part of your power!

No one really teaches you how to love yourself. I  truly started to love myself when I came to university. A time when I vowed to uphold myself highly. Partly because I didn’t want to get lost in the sauce of university ‘demons’, but also, because I wanted what I saw in other people. I wanted to have a strong sense of identity and self-confidence; these were (and are) things that I admired in the character of others.

To have a strong sense of identity requires spending time with yourself, knowing what makes you happy, excited, sad or angry. You can only be confident in something that you know well, something you have worked on, something that you trust. You’re not going to be confident on stage performing a routine you haven’t spent time on. Similarly, you are not going to be confident in yourself, if you do not spend time on building yourself, your character and set yourself up for achieving your goals (sometimes even working out what those goals actually are).

Self identity and confidence are part in parcel with loving yourself. Sometimes, it is easier said than done; especially where your ‘flaws’ lie. (I put flaws in inverted commas because your flaws may be another persons wish). Nevertheless, self-love is a journey worth taking.

My top tips for self-love: Self-affirmation, celebrating your successes and ‘me-time’

  • Self-affirmation – Tell yourself you love yourself. In the mirror. Before you go to bed. When you wake up. Speak self-love into your heart, mind and soul.
  • Celebrate your successes – not everyone sees your successes, especially the small ones. When you do something good, even if it is simply an extra 10 sit-ups at the gym, tell yourself well done. It feels good when someone else congratulates you, so congratulate yourself.
  • ‘Me-time’ – You cannot love someone you don’t know. Set aside time to spend away from social media. I specify social media because it is the nest of comparison. Comparing your pictures to an american ‘instagram baddie’ is not going to make you feel better. Nor is comparing your twitter feed to the guy tweeting about his new balenciagas, new Audi and the ‘babe’ he’s taking to the Shard for dinner. (Don’t forget that people mostly share their highlights, what they want you to see.) Aside from that, read a book, listen to music, even look through old photos – old photo’s, snapchats and video’s are the best.

When you love yourself, not cockinesses, but confidence beams from you. People can see that you ‘know your sauce’ (know yourself, know your worth). You’ll radiate love and happiness because that is what is within you.

So today, I want you to do a little something for yourself. Once you’ve done that little something, in the spirit of giving, show a little love to someone else.

For my believers: You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139: 14) in God’s image. God took his time designing you just the way you are. As you are made in His image, if you truthfully love God (first commandment – Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” – Matthew 22:38) you should love yourself. It is only then, that you can ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself.’ (Matthew 22:39). Remember you cannot love someone who you do not know, put time aside to spend with God daily; in this time you grow love for yourself, God and others.

Be your first Valentine. It may sound selfish, but if you’re not good, you cannot make anyone else better. If you don’t truly love yourself, you cannot truly give love to anyone else.

Peace & Love

x

The Struggle is ONLY Temporary

img_1534

I’m back and I’m better!

Am I still allowed to say that? Or is Bryson too 2016?

Anywhoms, I’m back after a very testing period of this university lifestyle. And following my ‘stress is not my portion‘ post I thought, it was only fair to share my stressful moment too; because I’m not out here picking daises and chilling, life is trying it with me too!

Approximately a week ago, dooms-day arrived i.e. Dissertation deadline day. For the last 5 days before my deadline, I was looking like Krusty the clown featuring Nanny McPhee. In the library all hours. Shifts ending while the birds were chirping. No word of a lie, I didn’t necessarily know what day of the week it was, I just knew that my deadline was Xdays and Xhours away. The only thing that was keeping me going was the fact that, I knew in Xdays and Xhours it was going to be over.

During times of struggle, whether that may be financially, emotionally or physically, a reminder that your struggle is only temporary is the most important reminder of them all! For example, we all know about the struggle before the ‘student loan drop’, we know the struggle is only temporary because our bank accounts will be well-endowed soon.

In some areas of life, this is not as easy a concept to master by simply speaking the positivity into existence. Deeper struggles like debt, a broken relationship or loss of a loved one don’t feel like temporary struggles. As long as you are on earth the struggle may remain, and may only get easier, but it is about finding peace in knowing that it does get better.

How do you find peace? You can find peace in prayer or reflection. Focusing on the trials and tribulations you’ve overcome, the good things you enjoy and the great things that are to come.

So, to round it off, whatever your struggle may be, remember that it is only temporary, it will get better (as long as you work on it, because there are not any fairy godmothers granting you wishes out here) and find peace to keep striving through your struggle.

2 Corinthians 4:17 (ESV)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison

2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLT)

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

Remember…you are destined for greatness.